BDSM Terms: A glossary for readers and writers of kink fiction

Kink has its own vocabulary, and most of it arrived in fiction straight from real communities. If you’ve ever paused mid-story to wonder what a “rope bunny” is, or why a character is so worried about “sub drop,” this page is for you.

Below are the BDSM terms you’ll meet most often in erotic fiction, A to Z, each with a short, plain definition. Where a term has its own guide in this series, we’ve linked it. If you’d rather see the words in action, there are about 8,600 public BDSM stories on RedQuill to read for free.

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Why the words matter in kink fiction

In BDSM stories, vocabulary does real work. When a character says “yellow,” the reader instantly knows the scene is slowing down. When someone is called a “brat” rather than a “sub,” the reader expects banter, not quiet obedience. The right term sets expectations in a single word.

Readers use these words when they write prompts, too. On RedQuill, “aftercare” appeared in 14,600 prompts in the last 90 days, “subspace” in 3,600 and “sub drop” in 390, which more than doubled compared with the 90 days before. People aren’t just asking for intensity. They’re asking for the specific language of trust.

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BDSM terms A to Z

A

Aftercare. The care that follows a scene: water, a blanket, cuddling, quiet praise, talking through what happened. In fiction it’s often the emotional payoff. It showed up in 30% of subspace prompts on RedQuill in the last 90 days.

B

BDSM. An umbrella term covering bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It describes consensual power exchange and intense sensation between adults. For the genre as a whole, see our BDSM erotica guide.

Bondage. Restraining someone with rope, cuffs, straps, tape or furniture, with their consent. There are about 1,700 public bondage stories on RedQuill.

Bottom. The person receiving the action in a scene: being tied, spanked, teased. Bottoming is about the activity, not necessarily about submitting.

Brat. A submissive who resists playfully, with teasing, back talk and “make me” energy, because they enjoy being caught and handled. Bratting is a game both people agreed to play. Read more in our brat BDSM guide.

Brat tamer. The dominant who enjoys the brat’s resistance and meets it with patience, humor and firm consequences. In good fiction they’re never actually angry, just amused.

C

Cane. A thin, flexible rod used for impact play, known for a sharp, intense sting. Cane mentions rose 51% in RedQuill prompts in the last 90 days.

CNC (consensual non-consent). A label some people use for an advanced, heavily negotiated roleplay where everything is agreed in detail beforehand, including limits and a way to stop. It’s contested even within kink communities. We define it here so you recognize it, but we don’t recommend it as a story premise, and RedQuill stories keep consent clear on the page.

Collar. A band worn around the neck as a symbol of ownership, commitment or a D/s relationship. Collar is one of the most requested items on RedQuill, at 32,200 prompts in the last 90 days.

Contract. A written agreement between partners that spells out roles, rules, limits and safewords. In fiction, the negotiation over a contract can be as charged as the scene itself.

D

D/s. Short for Dominance and submission. The capital D and lowercase s show who holds the power. D/s describes the relationship, with or without physical kink.

Dom / Domme. The dominant partner. “Dom” is the general term, while “Domme” is often used for a woman. See also femdom and maledom.

E

Edging. Bringing someone close to orgasm, then stopping, again and again. Edging appeared in 20,700 RedQuill prompts in the last 90 days.

F

Femdom. Female-led dominance, where a woman holds the power in the dynamic. Browse femdom stories for examples.

Flogger. An impact toy with many soft or stiff tails attached to a handle. It gives scenes a rhythmic, almost meditative feel.

Forced orgasm. Despite the name, this is a negotiated scene in which the dominant keeps bringing the submissive to climax past the point they’d choose, within agreed limits. The “forced” part is the fantasy. The consent is real.

G

Gag. Something that limits speech, from a cloth to a ball gag. In fiction, a gag raises the stakes on communication, which is why good writers always give a gagged character a nonverbal signal to stop.

H

Hard limit. Something a person will never do, no exceptions. Hard limits aren’t negotiable, and respecting them is what separates a dominant character the reader trusts from one they don’t.

Headspace. The mental state someone enters during a scene. A submissive might be in “sub headspace” (soft, floaty, compliant), while a dominant might be in “Dom headspace” (focused and in control).

Humiliation. Consensual play with embarrassment, teasing or degrading words. It’s highly personal: what thrills one reader makes another wince. It appears in about a fifth of BDSM prompts on RedQuill.

I

Impact play. Any play involving striking: hands, paddles, floggers, canes, crops. Spanking is the most common form. Browse impact play stories for examples.

L

Limits. The boundaries each person sets before a scene. They come in two kinds, hard and soft, and talking about them is one of the most reliably sexy moments in BDSM fiction.

M

Maledom. Male-led dominance, where a man holds the power. Find more in male domination stories.

Munch. A casual, non-sexual meetup for kinky people, usually at a restaurant or bar. No play, just conversation. Munches make a great low-pressure setting for a “first time” story where two adults meet before anything happens.

N

Negotiation. The conversation before a scene where partners agree on what will happen, what won’t, the safeword and the aftercare. In good fiction, negotiation is foreplay, not paperwork.

O

Orgasm denial. Withholding release, sometimes for a single scene, sometimes for days. It pairs naturally with edging and chastity.

Over the knee (OTK). A classic spanking position where the receiver lies across the giver’s lap. It’s a staple of spanking stories.

P

Pet play. Roleplay where an adult takes on the behaviors of a pet, often a puppy or kitten, with a dominant “owner.” Pet play rose 41% in RedQuill prompts in the last 90 days.

Play partner. Someone you do kink with who isn’t necessarily a romantic partner. In fiction, a play partner who slowly becomes more is a satisfying arc.

Power exchange. The core of BDSM: one person willingly gives control to another, within agreed limits. The key word is “gives.” The power is handed over, never taken.

Praise kink. Arousal from being told you’re doing well, with phrases like “good girl” or “I’m proud of you.” It’s by far the most requested element on RedQuill, with 75,700 prompts in the last 90 days.

Predicament bondage. A restraint setup where every option has a tradeoff, so the bound person has to choose which discomfort to accept. See our predicament bondage guide.

Protocol. Formal rules of behavior in a D/s relationship: how to address the dominant, where to sit, when to speak. Protocol gives a story texture and gives a brat something to bend.

R

Rigger. The person who ties the rope.

Rope bunny. The person who enjoys being tied.

S

Safeword. A word that stops a scene immediately, no questions asked. See also traffic light system.

Scene. A single session of BDSM play, with a beginning, middle and end. In fiction, “the scene” maps neatly onto a chapter.

Sensory deprivation. Removing one or more senses with blindfolds, earplugs or hoods, so everything else feels sharper. It rose 69% in RedQuill prompts in the last 90 days.

Shibari. A Japanese-influenced style of rope bondage known for its patterns, aesthetics and emotional intensity.

Soft limit. Something a person is hesitant about but might explore under the right conditions. Soft limits are where a lot of character growth happens in fiction.

Spanking. Striking the buttocks with a hand or implement, for punishment, pleasure or both. It’s one of the most popular kinks on RedQuill, at 30,000 prompts in the last 90 days.

Sub / submissive. The partner who gives up control. A strong submissive character has as much agency as the dominant.

Sub drop. The emotional crash that can follow an intense scene, sometimes hours or days later: sadness, tiredness, feeling raw. Good aftercare helps. It’s the fastest-rising term on this list in RedQuill prompts, up 129%.

Subspace. A floaty, euphoric, almost trance-like state a submissive can reach during a scene. It’s a favorite in tender stories: 44% of subspace prompts on RedQuill mention praise and 36% mention “gentle.”

Switch. Someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles, depending on the partner or the mood. Switches make great characters because the power can flip mid-story.

T

Top. The person doing the action in a scene: tying, spanking, teasing.

Topping from the bottom. When the bottom tries to steer the scene, through hints, demands or pointed requests. Sometimes it’s a problem, sometimes it’s exactly what a brat is going for.

Traffic light system. A simple check-in method. Green means keep going, yellow means slow down or check in, red means stop. It reads naturally in dialogue.

V

Vanilla. Sex or relationships without kink. “Vanilla partner discovers kink” is a beloved story setup.

W

Wax play. Dripping warm candle wax onto skin for sensation and visual drama.

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If you try this for real

Fiction can skip the logistics, but real life can’t. If any of these terms inspires you, negotiate first, agree on a safeword (the traffic light system is a good start), never leave someone who is restrained alone, keep safety shears within reach, check circulation and nerve feeling often, and keep impact away from the spine and kidneys. Learn from experienced educators and your local community. A munch is a great place to start.

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Put the vocabulary to work on RedQuill

Knowing the words makes reading and writing easier. Every community story on RedQuill is free to read, so pick a term and explore: BDSM stories, bondage stories, spanking stories or dom/sub stories.

The words also make better prompts. Type a prompt and RedQuill’s AI writes the story, which you can continue chapter by chapter, steer, edit, fork and publish. Use the vocabulary to be precise. For example: “Two rivals at a law firm agree to one scene. She’s a brat, he’s a patient tamer. Negotiate limits first, traffic light safewords, over the knee spanking, end with aftercare and a hint of sub drop the next morning.”

Describe your scene and RedQuill writes it.

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BDSM terms FAQ

What are the basic BDSM terms?

The essentials are dom, sub, switch, top, bottom, scene, safeword, limits, negotiation and aftercare. Once you know those, most BDSM stories and conversations will make sense.

What is the difference between a top and a dom?

A top is the person doing the action in a scene, while a dom holds authority in the relationship. Many people are both, but someone can top a spanking without being dominant in any wider sense.

What does “green, yellow, red” mean in BDSM?

It’s the traffic light safeword system. Green means everything is good, yellow means slow down or check in, and red means stop completely, right away.

What is subspace and sub drop?

Subspace is the floaty, euphoric state a submissive can reach during a scene. Sub drop is the emotional low that can follow later. Aftercare helps with both, and readers increasingly want to see them on the page.

What does vanilla mean in BDSM?

Vanilla describes sex or relationships without kink. It’s a neutral term, not an insult, and plenty of people enjoy both vanilla and kinky intimacy.

What is a munch?

A munch is a casual social meetup for people interested in kink, usually at a café, restaurant or bar. There’s no play involved. It’s a low-pressure way to meet the community.