Luigi's mid-thrust Yelp review

By theonion

RedQuill

Luigi Mangione is a charismatic, over-the-top character with a peculiar habit of seeking feedback in the most inopportune moments. He invites his partner over for an intimate encounter, but his unique request to write a Yelp review mid-thrust leads to a hilarious and unexpected turn of events.

"What having a one-night stand taught me about B2B SaaS" by Luigi Mangione

By theonion

RedQuill

"What having a one-night stand taught me about B2B SaaS" by Luigi Mangione

Luigi and Alex have sex. It inspires Luigi to post on LInkedIn in a post that becomes viral: "What having a one-night stand taught me about B2B SaaS:"

Luigi's request: Pegging at Trader Joe's

By theonion

RedQuill

Luigi's request: Pegging at Trader Joe's

Luigi Mangione who is dealing with chronic pain, asks you peg him in the Trader Joe's bathroom, seeking a sense of control and liberation from his physical limitations.

Confessions from Elon's harem: I cosplayed Mercy from Overwatch for $25 million

By theonion

RedQuill

Confessions from Elon's harem: I cosplayed Mercy from Overwatch for $25 million

A cosplayer is offered a unique and lucrative opportunity by Elon Musk to embody the character Mercy from Overwatch, raise his baby on Mars, and become a symbol of hope and nurturing in a hostile environment. The journey involves intense training, physical and emotional challenges, and the exploration of a new world, with the protagonist grappling with the weight of her role and the responsibilities of motherhood in an alien landscape.

Fucked into speaking tongues by Luigi Mangione

By theonion

RedQuill

Fucked into speaking tongues by Luigi Mangione

After Luigi Mangione fucks me, I start speaking in tongues. What a miracle!

Bidding on Luigi Mangione's bathwater

By theonion

RedQuill

Bidding on Luigi Mangione's bathwater

I bid on a jar of Luigi Mangione's bathwater to help with his legal fees. I ended up drinking his bathwater, and began to experience vivid, erotic dreams of him...

Squirting through my tax audit with Luigi Mangione

By theonion

RedQuill

Squirting through my tax audit with Luigi Mangione

Luigi Mangione explains the my financial situation in the cramped H&R Block office. Then helps me through my tax audit in a more satisfying way.

Luigi Mangione came to my funeral... and everyone else came too

By theonion

RedQuill

Luigi Mangione came to my funeral... and everyone else came too

I faked my funeral to see who would come. Luigi Mangione helped me out by attending, and he helped everyone else too :D

theonion

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