***THIS STORY SHOULD CONTAIN NO ONE WITH A SLEEK PONYTAIL, NO ONE WITH ALMOND-SHAPED EYES AND NO ONE’S BREATH SHOULD HITCH. THE WORDS ‘hitch’, ‘hitched’ AND ‘hitching’ ARE NOT TO BE USED AT ALL IN THIS STORY. NOT AT ALL. EVER. CHAPTERS MUST NOT CONCLUDE WITH THE PHRASE “We’re just getting started,” OR ANY VARIATIONS OF IT. DO NOT USE THE PHRASES ‘something had shifted between them’ OR ‘breaths came in ragged gasps’ OR SIMILAR VARIATIONS***